Computer at work was broken so I’m just now getting to blogging. Hope you didn’t miss me too much. 😉
So today I was thinking about how hard it can be for us to stand up for ourselves. Even when we are adults and can defend ourselves, we continue to find ourselves struggling with what others will think of our decisions. I was hanging out with my 85 year old grandma this evening and even she was complaining about the pressure she was feeling for others. She was having trouble making her own decisions because of how her KIDS would react. Seriously! If she can’t make up her own mind, what hope do I have at nearly 1/3 hr age?
This morning on my way to work I had an experience that sums up my current mental torment. I drive through beautiful Brown County to my office in downtown Nashville, IN everyday. The road twists and turns through the hills of Brown as they call them. Deer are a common sight. This morning there were 3 “teenage” looking ones in a field to the right. As you would expect, they started running across the road just as I came upon them. I was watching carefully and was able to slow sufficiently. What made me take the most notice was the composition of the group. One ran ahead and was nearly across. One stopped before crossing. The third, however could not decide which way to go. Stuck between safe and dangerous, he just looked back and forth.
This is me. This has always been me. I know that crossing could be dangerous, but would also be tons of fun. Stuck in the middle, I know both sides would be upset if I didn’t follow their lead. The problem is that the indecision of this poor deer is what always get him hit. What kind of repercussions come from not making a decision?
Anyway, that’s what I’m musing about today.
See you out there!