Monday’s Musings

Welcome back to another week in the cubicle. You’ll find the stapler to the right and the pens to the left. Sit there quietly and try to look productive. The paycheck should lessen the pain, eventually. 

So I’m not the biggest fan of working in a cubicle. It’s a small office with only 4 cubicles, 2 of which are usually empty. I typically have 2-3 appointments, up to 5 on the busiest of days. So the rest of my time is spent trying to figure out what to do next. Lots of youtube and blogging. 

I danced in Louisville Saturday night and visited some friends on Sunday. The Saturday dance became Sauna Contra because the AC was out in the dance hall. We sweat like crazy anyway, so I wasn’t bothered too much. Danced most of the night in sandals or barefoot, which I’m enjoying quite a bit these days. 

No one commented on my blog about what kind of topics would be preferred (Here, in case you want to visit.) so I guess I’ll move forward with the topics listed until I hear from someone. 

Today I’m wondering how to balance all the expectations that come crashing down on me at once. Being a good person, a good employee, a good citizen, responsible, adventurous, gentle, wild, comforting, challenging, and so many more. It seems like everyone you meet has something they expect you to be. What happens when those are conflicting? How do you balance or choose which one to fulfill first or primarily?

I sometimes play out a situation of ‘what-if’ in my head. What if I jump ship and decide to live totally irresponsible? What if I never make another wild decision? What if I let everyone down? What if I have to keep walking alone? So many questions without real answers. 

That’s all for today. Not super exciting, but I’m not sure anyone cares to read anyway. 

See you out there! 

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3 Comments

  1. Must you sound so jaded off the back? Lol jk….I feel your pain and struggles…sometimes I pretend to YOLO but only in my head lol. We can only be who we are, and figuring out who we really are….yeh I am beginning to think that’s a life time journey….of course this is coming from someone with a Peterpan complex so my opinion is prolly lacking lol.

  2. I wonder how you would feel if you decided to stop trying to make these other people happy and giving them what they expect and instead, made yourself happy by just being you. Maybe you already do this, but this blog sounds like you try to do this. Believe me, I have tried! You get nowhere but cranky and crazy and unhappy. Once I changed my point of view and started saying, this is who I am, this is who I am going to act, I was happier. Don’t know if everyone around me was but, oh well (for most of them).

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